What is my Mothers role in the wedding process?

Mother of the bride is a big role, one that has changed dramatically over the years. First and foremost, there are lots of rules of etiquette and traditionally defined roles, but, luckily nothing is etched in stone. Back in the day, Mom was traditionally the head wedding planner. Unfortunately, in most cases the wedding became a way for Mom to live out her own dream.

Luckily for us…we’ve come a long way baby. Today’s bride is savvy, intelligent and usually has her dream wedding already planned out. So where does that leave Mom? It leaves her in the role of co-pilot. What a great place to be (unless you want Mom to handle everything, then have at it!).

First and foremost, Mom’s role should be as your biggest supporter, cheerleader, listener and confidante. This whole wedding thing can be extremely stressful and chaotic. Having a supportive Mom, someone you can lean and depend on, can be your greatest wedding survival tool.
Other responsibilities include (but are not limited to):

Helping you, the bride, find the perfect dress. Giving honest feedback and understanding that if you absolutely LOVE that dress she shouldn’t try and talk you out of it (unless it’s way over budget).

Help you look for the perfect wedding reception locations, especially if you’re getting married in your old home town and you’ve been away, she should know all the good spots to check out.
Make first contact with the grooms’ Mother and Father. Now’s a great time for them to meet, if they haven’t already.

Discuss the wedding budget and how much she intends to contribute financially to the wedding is a huge responsibility. This is the perfect time to discuss the number of guests to invite.
Reserving hotel rooms for out of town guests.

Accompany you to showers and parties held in your honor, including the rehearsal dinner. Again, there’s nothing like moral support from someone you love and trust.

She should pick the perfect dress for herself that compliments your wedding in every way. Coordinating with your colors is always a plus. Also, she should forward her dress info to the mother of the groom so they don’t end up wearing the same dress.

Guest list. Mom should draw up the list of friends and relatives that she wants for the brides’ side. It’s a great place to start negotiations.

Two weeks from the wedding call anyone that hasn’t RSVP’d and find out their status.

Act as hostess at the wedding and reception.

Stand in the receiving line.

Be your biggest fan.

What it basically boils down to is that your Mom should be your rock through all the craziness. She can help in many more ways and be your greatest alliance if you remember to keep the lines of communication open, warm and loving.

Congratulations on your big day!
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